90% Water, Well Wring Me Out, Stop the Drought!

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If only this were true, we could gather all the fat people into the drought states, extract the water from our bodies and no more drought!
If my body is all that water why am I clammy and hot but not sweating? I am keeping my shirt wet and it helps but my head hurts and even if I pour water over my head I dry off so quickly. I am so swollen that I can not bend my legs without screaming. I don’t dare go to the hospital, I will catch another infection, and going to my doctor is stupid because you have to wait a minimum of three hours on hard chairs in a hot waiting room just for a doctor to say I have to have medicine, and then wait for the pharmacy to deny that because they want to know why.

I believe that the water inside us is the tears we are afraid to shed. The hurt, the joys, the misunderstandings, and the anger and frustration from every day life.  Living is a catch 22, there is no win or lose, no good or bad, life just is a moment in time that has no beginning or end, more like a continuous loop of trials and errors. Did we learn anything? Can we change what is happening to us?

What if each and every one of us is reliving and enter twining in a world wide mass Grounds Hog’s Day? What if someone is watching and pulling the strings, or setting up the different options for each of us?

I have started my life over from scratch so many times, I have died more than three times, and nights like tonight, I have to ponder, is the fight worth it? What am I really fighting for? Is it to continue to live or the right to continue to be around those we love? Does anyone care if we fall asleep and never wake up? Will the pain end if we die or will increase with each new life? I know that woman I call mom could care less what happens to me, she sees how swollen I have become and she just stays in bed telling me she will call tomorrow to get the air conditioning fixed, that she will take me to the store to get food, that we will go swimming again, we have left the house once since Memorial Day to go to the pharmacy.  With the swelling and heat, I am over 400 pounds and I don’t know if I’ll be living anywhere much longer.  I’m hot,tired and cramping and the pain is unbelievable. I think I’m going to take my night insulin, wet down and just lay down and shut my eyes in front of the fan.
Good Night

Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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