I Tried, but it was only a Dream!

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The headaches are coming on stronger than ever before, I keep getting cramps through out my body, I slept through most of today, only to wake up to check my phone for messages from my son, still no grandson.
I did take my insulin and make meals for mom and I, just hurts to much to even stand up. I didn’t even realize that it was night until I let the dogs out just now, another day lost.
I actually dreamed today, I knew it was a dream because I don’t have any grandchildren, yet.

I dreamed I was on a picnic with my ex-husband and two grandchildren, a boy about 8 and a girl about 5 outside of a church on a lusciously green lawn at the edge of a 10 foot embankment of a huge lake. I remember asking my ex-husband not let my granddaughter play so close to the edge, jokingly, he leaned back, starting to tell me how safe the edge really was, I remember seeing bits of gravel and earth break away under his but, I was fixated on it, but only for a moment, I looked up at his face and started to talk. All of a sudden this blur of white and black stripes with a wide red ribbon hit my ex-husband full force while he was still off balance over the edge, I remember a scream bubble up my throat and I remember lurching to grasp anything on my granddaughter. I remember watching my ex-husband fall slowly backwards, the back of his head hitting a rock and his body just slowly sliding in the dirt until it reached the water. I watched as he went under the water and he just floated about a inch under the surface, I remember being frozen, I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t move my legs, I knew I had to crawl down and get his head out of the water. I went to move my hands to force myself to crawl forward, but my arm was just so heavy, my eyes traced down to my hand and I was holding the arm of my crying granddaughter, I looked at the still face under the water, and I woke up.
I wanted to go back to the dream to save him, yes, in real life he tried to kill me, but I could never willingly let anyone die, even the devil himself. I tried all day but couldn’t save him.

Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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