It’s always there, the moon, I mean.


As I sit here with two dogs running from my bed to my mom’s trying to get away from the sound of all the illegal fireworks going off, I can’t help but think of a time when I was terrified of them myself. When I was a child we had a neighbor that tampered with the fireworks sold on every street corner to explode after the sparkling or whistle, whatever it was originally intended to be. This idiot would knock on the door and when I opened it the Piccolo Pete would scream and explode near my face. He was a cop of all things, and he breed the most beautiful German shepherds, but he  should have been ashamed of himself for terrifying a small young girl. It took me years to even come out from under the bed on the fourth.

I got somewhat over my fears when the fourth was on a full moon and I was high in the mountains at a summer camp, I had hiked all day to reach a ridge that you could see the fireworks of the city but to far too hear the extreme loud booms. I was sitting with a group of about 50, forgetting that the other half of the camp spent their day climbing up the other mountain across the canyon from where I was sitting. As I sat there and darkness crawled across the mountains, the two groups began to sing  (not me, I sound more like the seagull from the little mermaid ) The voices blended so beautifully and the colors of the fireworks just seemed to swirl into each note that seemed to fill the night sky just like the painting, a starry night.

Once the colors stopped and the smoke cleared and the voices continued to sing, the stars came out filling the sky with twinkling lights even more beautiful than the man made ones at the bottom of the valley below, mesmerized I decided that like those stars in the distance, I would always shine bright, to light the way for others, I knew that like the shooting stars, that if I dwelled to long on my own personal problems, that I would shoot across the sky’s and have to start all over until I got it right. I believe that is when I started learning all things quickly so I wouldn’t spend my entire life retracing my steps. The last song of the night was ” I Will be True” as the full moon flooded both mountain tops, brighter than daylight, we could see each team clearly, we were able to make it back to camp without the use of any flashlights.

I have been lucky enough to have done more in my life than most 20 people get to do in theirs combined. As I sat staring at the milky way, I thought that no matter what happens to me in this lifetime, there’s always something new around the corner, over the mountain, across the valleys and it’s all written in those stars if I only take the time to learn about them. I am no saint, I have probably committed every sin both innocent and down right evil at some point in my 51 years, but I never willingly set out to hurt anyone or anything.  I did what I needed to survive, keep my sons safe, I have loved with my whole heart and I was never loved in return, but not once have I forgotten about the words of the song that filled my heart with kindness in a very unkind world, that gave me hope when I felt none was left, that taught me to give and never expect anything in return and to dig deep within my own heart and light a bright flame for others, even if my own fire has long been extinguished. I found the will to have strength, if not for myself, then for others around me, to keep fighting for what is right even when the pain is unbelievable to bare.

I will be True,
For there are those who trust me.
I will be pure,
For there are many who care.
I will be strong,
For there is much to suffer.
I will be brave,
For there is much to dare.
I will be friend to all,
The foe and the friendless.
I will be giving,
And forget the gift.
I will be humble,
For I know mine own weaknesses.
I will not forget,
To Look up,
To laugh
And to lift.
(Unknown )

Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.

Posted from WordPress for Android


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