Tonight I am a little bit calmer, I spent time staring at the gazebo, working all what needs to be done to put the pool in, every step I will figure out in my head before I start a project.
Today my mother got upset over the same Facebook post from my daughter in law that stabbed my heart last night, she to was hurt and felt the sting, I felt validation in my hurt of last night. A friend recommended for me to concentrate on getting my health in order and maybe somewhere during that time my family will figure it out on their own.
I have nothing to stall my project now, I have all the pieces needed to set up the pool and start working out. I just need the strength to take the stuff from the gazebo, remove the flowers around it, and hang the netting and put the wire around so that the gardeners won’t cut through the pool with their weedeater.
Now the true fight begins, I will have to force myself to go down those steps, and touch things that may have spiders on them, and move flowers that attracts bees that can kill me, but it has to get done because if I don’t do this no one else will. I have to force myself to get healthy for me, because I can’t go on with this pain and suffering, and I will prove that it can be done naturally. As always alone without someone besides me.
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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