I did it, I put my foot down and said No!
Yesterday, due to the weather, I was forced to stay inside, off the phone, and no TV, I took advantage of the day off and slept. We need the rain, it’s the electrical storms that starts more fires that we don’t need, and yesterday’s lighting closed most of our beaches (first time in my 51 years this has happened).
Some of you know that I take care of my mom, I make her meals and do the heavy stuff for her. We have two main stores we shop at, because I at one point worked at both and the staff knows our situation and helps when they can. I am legally blind and over weight with a broken neck and fibromyalgia, my mom has had surgery on everything, (she is more metal than the six million dollar man and cost more to build too.) But using her eyes and my strength we make a comical team when shopping . What I cannot and will not do is baths, diapers, or change bandages, not
things you want to do blind, nor should I have to.
Since Memorial Day weekend, mom has gotten out of bed only if she ran out of medicine, went to doctors or needed something from the store, whatever I need must be planed around these random trips. Today, we were set to go on our monthly supply run to Walmart, I got up and my asthma kicked in big time due to the fires and 100% humidity, I barely made it to my inhaler. With all the stess lately, I am literally constipated, and with each step I got heavier than the step before, as if I was at the bottom of a cheerleaders pyramid, I could barely move and panic started setting in. I took my insulin and a few bites of the parrots fruit, sorry Clover, but I don’t have my teeth in and I have to have something with insulin and it was already in my hand. I made it back to the bed and turned on the C-Pap.
I then told my mother that I could not go shopping with her today, normally she would say fine, but her painkillers are at the pharmacy and she is nearly out of diapers so she got dressed and went alone. I knew that she could do stuff if she wanted to, she just doesn’t, knowing that I will because it has to get done.
I truly dislike being taken for granted.
However, having privacy for the first time in a while, I was able to relax enough to go to the bathroom. Some of the heavy feeling is disappearing. I will not let the fact that she will not get the things on my list get to me today.
The next storm is due later today so hopefully I will be able to unload whatever she bought.
Knowing now that she can do more if she knows that I can’t, I will put more efforts into my pool project and not let her ware me out. Sometimes you just have to say No!
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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