Darling, what’s behind us doesn’t matter, Focus on Now!

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Today, thanks to a 4.3 earthquake I awoke before 6 am. My poor puppies jumped wide-eyed into my hospital bed with me. 

It is going to be over 100 degrees all week and muggy, I could have stayed in the south for this weather, I don’t remember California ever being this humid as a child.  Then, I remembered that I grew up only 6 miles from the beach, not here in the Inland Empire valley smog hell I live in now. I will leave California and this time never return.

I had a little better night and was able to sleep, well until mother nature abruptly woke me up, but I got a lot done yesterday before I had to put my feet up.  Today I should be able to finish the dishes and maybe make mom her apple pie tonight after the sun goes down.  With all the fresh tomatoes lately I’ve been able to be creative in cool cooking, I just bought a new rice cooker and it’s a dud, second time I used it and it quit working mid-cooking! It’s a black and decker so I will check the book to see how to return it.  As I said before, if I didn’t have bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all!

I can’t believe that another week has come and gone, I am doing so much better mentally because of the friends I have made here, I find strength and courage to push harder because of your kindness and support,  Thank you so much. (now if physically I was better, we would have a miracle, I know, all in good time. )

Today my grandson will be one month old, I don’t even know what he looks like past the first two days of his life, it saddens me that I missed that baby smells and first-time things, what scares me is the numbness I have while writing about it. I always wanted to be a Grandma and my son spoiled that excitement for me.  I still have not gotten back to working on the quilt but I will even if I do it to show in competitions.  I would have loved and spoiled him like my grandparents never did but were supposed to have.

I’m mellow today, very stiff and swollen, every step feeling as if the ground is made of sharp knives cutting into my feet, yet my heart says to keep pushing until the pain reaches my ass, then stop for the day.  So that is exactly what I will do.

I am honestly humbled and undeserved of such love and support from all of you, but I welcome all of it with open arms, thanks for believing in me when I almost forgot to. Every single one of you are giving me the opportunity to believe that I got this and can do this. Thank you

Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.

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9 thoughts on “Darling, what’s behind us doesn’t matter, Focus on Now!

  1. Oh my goodness, an earthquake sounds scary, no wonder your puppies jumped.
    I love the fact you are enjoying cooking, hope you manage to bake your mum her apple pie. xx
    The reason we all love and support you, is because you give 100% effort to everything you do. You keep going, ignoring the intense pain you’re in. We are in awe of you.
    Also, YOU ARE a kind hearted, caring individual….that keeps giving, expecting nothing in return.
    You WILL see you grandson, in time. Sorting your health first is what’s important.
    Forever a friend xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Dearest Friend of all, I hope you know that you have taken root strongly into my heart, not a easy feat I might add. You are my much needed rain, helping me grow in my dry and relentless world. When I hear from you my pain is forgotten for that moment and my spirit of strength is renewed. I know your fear and I adore you just as you are, very, very special to me and many more. You are loved and thought of every day my Dearest Friend

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry about the pain. I know the feeling. These last few days have been horrible for me. I admire the fact that you cook and bake. I don’t if I can help it. Hate it actually and can’t stand for that long before the pain in the back escalates. You have plenty of friends and this blogging community is very supportive. I used to feel that way about Facebook, but I spend very little time there now. Have a great weekend if you can and glad the earthquake wasn’t too bad. I live on the opposite coast and had one minor quake from way down south that affected us. That was scary enough. You can keep California.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That last line made me laugh. Thanks!
      I know that back pain as well, even after breaking it in high school it wasn’t so bad until the hospital (because of my weight ) really messed up my spinal tap, I haven’t been able to lay on my back since and feels like wet cement is strapped to my lower back, but it is constant, which for me is a Good thing, because I can live with constant, it’s the quick burst of electrical burning pain that I can’t handle. Why is the simplest always the hardest for me. Love ya, off to do a dish now, ha ha ha!

      Like

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