I Love who I have become and I never lose my fight to be me!


Today was a bad pain day, but because of your support and friendship I was able to get a lot done.

I cleaned most of the dishes  (a few at a time, then worked on blog) I just finished making mom’s favorite apple pie, it’s in the oven now. I make it in a glass loaf dish, mom eats half in one setting.  Don’t worry, since I’m diabetic, half a loaf is under 400 calories. It only uses 3 tablespoons of each, white and brown sugar, and half a cube of butter. If I find a recipe using more than half a cup of sugar I will either change it or not even try. I don’t like sugar substitute and try not to use it.

I was so excited to discuss something that I deal with daily that I still can’t find the words to get off my chest here.  By reading other blogs, I was able to get information on a particular hurt that has held me back for more years than care to admit. I talked one on one with the Arthur and for the first time in my life, trust someone to take the load off my heart and shoulders. And she didn’t judge me, and still is my friend. I guess I am saying this so everyone of you know that what you say in your blog to help yourself recover, by letting others read it, you’ll find that you will find that one person who understands and found your solutions very helpful. I can not express enough, to write from your heart and encourage others by telling your story, however you want. I love the poems and artwork, like a good book, your titles draw me in. For the first time I feel like I have a family and friends that I like to make sure that they know that they made a difference in my life.

If you follow me, then you know how much I worry and care about my friends I have made here, some, like Only I, know the real me will forever more mean more to me than I could ever put into words. I just adore everything about her and her blog.  Others have touched me in so many ways, a shared love of animals, same situation, same outlook on life, but all support others and genuinely care what you think and have to say. We are close, keep things upbeat with healing our shared goal, we are family.

I haven’t even scratched the surface of my story, but each day I find a new strength that I never knew I had.
I had a huge weight lifted off my heart today, and even my pain can not bring me down, tomorrow maybe, but not today. Every day I fight just to stand, praying my legs don’t snap in two from my weight, I push myself to keep going because it hurts to much to rest.  Even during the night, I have to flex my ankles every 15 minutes or the swelling tweaks my right foot sideways and fractures the back of my heel causing my fracture never to completely heal, I was in a hard cast for nearly two years and almost had to have it amputated. I broke my neck not once but twice, I refused the surgery because the odds were against me. I have broken nearly every bone in my body, some twice. I am only using vitamins and Lidoderm patches to handle the pain, my goal is to swim my way back to a healthy weight, working very hard to push past my fears and pain to finish my pool project.

Well, the pie is cool enough to serve so I will close.
Thanks for making me feel safe enough to work through all this. Good Night 

Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.

Posted from WordPress for Android


3 thoughts on “I Love who I have become and I never lose my fight to be me!

  1. This is as bare anyone can be when sharing of oneself. Have you tried coconut sugar for pie? Also I have been on Tumeric, Bromalain and 1000mg of Total Omega for my legs. It worked for me. Hope you feel better and know you are thought of. Solitaire


    1. Dearest Solitaire, I take the tumeric, and a omega 3-6-9 mix that taste like a orange cream popsicle, but I am out and waiting for my mail order to arrive Tuesday. I will research the Bromalain to see if my body can take it. I don’t have a store near to get the coconut sugar or even the oil but I only drink coconut milk (thank you milk for changing your advertising, I see the commercials and gag thinking about sweat is the new milk, yuck haven’t drank it since) Thank you so much for your thoughts they really help, you are also on my mind. Lisha


  2. A bit random, I know – but your sideways profile picture always makes me tilt my head to see you, and that makes me smile. 😊
    Never change – because you’re a wonderful, caring, supportive person who’s much loved by many of us.


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