Sorry I missed my post yesterday but I have been possessed by a migraine and it’s friends depression and pain. Thanks to Souldiergirl and Windmills of my mind for caring enough to check in on me, it truly helps knowing that someone missed you.
I was able to get some sleep today and that really helped. Friday was just too much for me, with going to a unfamiliar place and meeting with a new doctor, having stayed up the night before waiting for my delivery of Farm Fresh organic produce, (which looked more like the leftover crops of the season) I will be putting their services on hold, causing me to have a panic attack knowing that I will have to go to the farmers market each week with all those strangers and a mom that doesn’t do mornings. Which means she will stay in the car playing games on her phone while I fend for myself at the market. At least being so afraid I won’t spend very much or buy a lot since my legs won’t hold me up for long.
Then there is tomorrow, I really don’t like calling people on the phone if I don’t know them, but I have to call my insurance company, and the lab and x-ray then call the insurance representative to find a new company for next year, and call farm fresh to suspend my deliveries till the end of summer. I need to get a ride to the pharmacy to pickup my generic Lidoderm patches for this month and go to the store for cat food and something mom will eat (she’s not very fond of vegetables and fruits and that’s mostly what I eat)
No Stress at all!
I couldn’t breath this morning, and the stupid insurance company will not approve my emergency inhaler, so I have to wait for my daily inhaler to kick in. I really need a better insurance company.
I have not received a response to a few emails I sent out a while ago checking on friends I care about, I know that they are alright because they continue to post leaving me to believe that they don’t want to continue our friendship. I will tell everyone this about me, if I don’t feel wanted or needed I don’t hang around. I write once, if I don’t hear back but know that you are alright, I move on. I believe friendship is a two way street, give and take on both sides, I know that I care deeply and I don’t expect others to feel as strongly as I do, but if honesty and common courtesy is not even considered then I have other things better to send my time on. I will never beg or plead to keep someone around. Either you like me or you don’t life is hard enough and I enjoy alone, so back to pushing myself to get better.
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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