Thanks to everyone for your response and encouragement today.
I do need to thank Lonelyjean because of her response yesterday and talking about our relationship with spiders I woke up early today and was able to force myself to move just one more thing out of the gazebo.
I am honestly humbled by the kind words of so many people today, I want you all to know that you built a bonfire in my heart and gave me the courage to go back outside and ask the gardeners to move the table out of the gazebo.
Honestly, now that I think about it, I think he did it more from fear of my looks than out of kindness, he just wanted me to return into the house.
Now, I am not putting myself down or anything, but I just looked in the bathroom mirror and scared myself. You see, your responses were so touching that I spontaneously went outside before my brain could talk me out of it, I desperately needed help with that table and besides the female nurses, the mailman, the gardeners are the only humans that comes to the house. I was serious when I said I have no one else to help. I now am embarrassed and I feel sorry for my poor gardeners, what stories they will tell around the fires tonight. (I bet he had to change his shorts after talking to me) I just can’t believe I went outside without checking the mirror first! They already knew that I was fat being over 400 pounds is hard to hide, but the black and blue knees and ankles from my journey this morning added to the look. I have to wear my clothes inside out because the seams blister my skin, (I normally put a house dress over me if people are involved) I was so hot last night that I left my hair wet before going to bed and since I haven’t done anything to it since I quit going to the gym, and with the added stress I am getting grey at the temples (so imagine Don King and Medusa blended) One of the side effects of my old medicine has caused increased facal hair and since I haven’t left the house in a few days I have more than a five o’clock shadow, so I really look like John Goodman with wild hair, but I can get over all of that, what makes me scary is I didn’t even put my teeth in! He must have thought that I just came out of some new horror film.
Well I know what I will do for Halloween this year!
Anyway, all that is left to do to start my pool project is hang the fencing, and move the flowerpots off the cement. Thanks to everyone who keeps encouraging me to push past the pain together we will finish this project.
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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