Well the fire department and ambulance just took my mom away.
Mom lost feeling in her legs and arms and of course it was in the one spot in the house that my fat ass won’t fit. The way I had her I would have ripped her arms out of the socket so I slid her to the ground as softly as I could and called 911.
I know that my mom is a hypochondriac but I also know when it’s real, tonight it was real and I couldn’t catch my breath to talk to the dispatch so put it on speaker and put it next to mom while I used my inhaler. I didn’t write my blog today because my foot wouldn’t let me stand up for long and with the heat I just slept or caught up on downton abbey.
I could sure use a cigarette about now.
I called my neighbor, mom’s best friend and we got into it because she wants to throw everything out saying that it’s all trash, I agree some of it is trash but mom hid our jewelry and coins and birth certificate and other paperwork in with all the stuff so ever thing has to be gone through with a fine tooth comb. Which Sucks since loosing my site.
If something should happen to mom then I have nothing, the house is rented in her name, no one to drive a truck if I rented one, the bank accounts in her name and I have nothing to fall back on since social security made me close my savings and 401k before I could get my check.
I am back to that scared little girl left behind and forgotten, all alone in the darkness, again. My parents forgot me everywhere, church, a amusement park, restaurants, hours would pass and they never missed me, I knew my phone number and someone would make the call to remind them 714-897-1637 yep still know it even years after everyone died. One day I should find out who got the old number.
On the outside I am cold calm and clear headed, but inside I’m freaking out, what if she dies? I don’t even know what hospital they took her to. Her phone was only half charged. I guess I should take a aspirin and try to calm down and cool off its still 85 degrees at 11pm. Not much I can do tonight, tomorrow I will make some calls.
Keep us in your thoughts, I don’t know how much more of this I can fight against, it never stops. I am just so tired and old and worn-out.
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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