19 Days without food, and she is not only alive but Amazing!
Today they will install the feeding tube, I saw mom yesterday and it was the first time I saw defeat in her eyes, but after a hour of reading her messages from all over the world, that flame in her soul started to burn brighter, she just has to survive the outpatient surgery and then she will get stronger. Hopefully enough to work with physical therapy and regain her strength and movement. One more day of idiots trying to starve you to death mom, you got this!
How am I doing through all of this, you ask?
I can’t believe that I am still not in jail, I have never wanted to do harm to another human as I have over the last 19 days. I didn’t realize that I could stand up to such great odds and still be this alert. I hurt, at this point it’s easier to find something that doesn’t hurt, hmm, thinking, I got it! NOTHING DON’T HURT! Even my hair hurts!
We had the much needed rain yesterday, I opened the whole house and if I could have walked I would have been down working on my pool project, in fact I tried but just couldn’t put weight on my ankles. I was so mad at the world, first rain and I couldn’t even enjoy it!
I also got a email from someone who wanted to just give up on life, I cleared my schedule and made time to listen and they blew me off, now I have her life to worry about along with my mom and everything else. I don’t mind helping anyone who needs help and would give up anything to see them feel better , but knowing that I have no idea what, where this person lives or how to direct police to check on them really hurts. I hope this person is alright but you should never cry wolf because as my mom found out, that when you honestly need help no one believes you until it’s almost to late. I am not going to waste any more time pondering the what ifs. It’s all out of my hands, I can just get ready to help pick up the pieces when it’s all over. I took some sleeping pills, put my Kindle Dx on the charger and hope to finish up my book while mom’s in surgery, once she is safe back in her room at the rehabilitation center, I will relax and take care of me, but not before I make sure they are using the tube correctly and no longer starving her, this time heads will roll!
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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