Today, as my strength was slipping away from not sleeping more than a hour at a time, this was posted on my Facebook time line. I found it beautiful, and it fits how I feel with all of you here in my cyber universe, I have never met the author (his nephew was supposed to marry a second cousin of mine, but he called it off) but like all of you, I became friends with the uncle/author and couldn’t unfriend him. I hope he gets this girl in Texas he’s after, he’s a good guy. Anyway, I got his permission to post it here for all of you to enjoy.
I once again find myself exausted, I was able to get a government agency to go next week and talk to my mom about the power of attorney, the bills are starting to come in and I am literally pushing myself to not go into a full blown panic attack and shut down from depression, I can’t afford to allow myself to go to the dark side because I am not ready to give up. I have finished all the dishes, all the clothes and blankets and bedding are clean and ready to be folded. With the guy across the streets help, my pool project is only days from completion.
I would not have had the courage to ever walk out my front door and see my mom each day if I didn’t have you, my friends and new sisters encouragement and support. I have survived so much in my life, but being older and in more pain, I find that reasons to live are getting harder and harder with each passing year to hold on to. I have completed everything on my 3rd bucket list except to see Ireland, Wales and Scotland. I realized that I need to start a 4th list (these were not simple list either ) the only things that you will NEVER find on a list of mine is any kind of activities that could end with my body splattered on the ground. With my luck, I would live! Just imagine the PAIN that would cause me!
Always Smile, Never let them see your fear!
Don’t give anyone power over you, only you can take charge of your life.
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